


At Least I'll Still Have Me

by crphoto



Category: Carol (2015), The Price of Salt - Patricia Highsmith
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ballet, F/F, Fluff, Lesbian, Lesbian Romance, Music, My First Fanfic, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-06-30 11:59:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19852711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crphoto/pseuds/crphoto
Summary: Therese let out a very tired sigh and attempted to come up with an excuse to not go when she was interrupted by the most enchanting voice she had ever heard."Gone with the Wind?  I wasn't expecting seeing someone as young as you watching something like that."Therese looked up from her phone to an unbelievably beautiful, practically perfect, tall, blonde woman.  Her hair was up in a bun, she was wearing running shorts, a loose t-shirt that showed her perfectly sculpted collar bones, and.... were those tights?"I didn't mean that to sound rude.  I just didn't expect that to be your movie choice."Therese realized she hadn't said anything yet to the vision that was standing in front of her.





	1. Chapter 1

It was Thursday night, Karaoke night, and Dannie was inevitably going to text Therese to come with him to Allen's, the local bar. Ever since Dannie found out Therese could sing, he would invite her to every karaoke night at Allen's and every time Therese would come up with an excuse not to go. Therese only sang to herself and herself alone and had no plans of singing in front of ANYONE ever. The only reason Dannie found out was because, unbeknownst to Therese, the walls between their apartments were very thin and on one particular night last month after a few too many glasses of wine, he overheard her singing, albeit very emotionally, to "A Star is Born". Of course, being Dannie, he wouldn't just ignore the beautiful voice coming from Therese's apartment and quickly come running to knock on her door.

Therese worked at a local coffee shop, Frankenberg's, which did have an open mic night every Sunday. Therese considered for a moment when she first started to enter herself into the list of singers, but after her first Sunday night, she quickly decided that she was not good enough to sing at any bars or coffee shops, and decided to only sing from now on in the shower. Therese got off early from Frankenberg's and knew if she went home right after work she would inevitably run into Dannie and have to come up with some lame excuse not to go to karaoke night. Frankenberg's was a short walk from a Target and Therese remembered she did need toilet paper. So operation, avoid Dannie at all costs, would happen at Target.

Therese got her toilet paper, and of course, found herself in the movie section where she found a five-dollar copy of "Gone with the Wind" which she definitely didn't need but hell it was five dollars. As she continued to peruse the discount movie section, the expected text message from Dannie would appear.

> 
>     TERRY!  You know what day it is?!  THURSDAY!  KARAOKE NIGHT AT ALLEN'S! You coming?

Therese let out a very tired sigh and attempted to come up with an excuse to not go when she was interrupted by the most enchanting voice she had ever heard. 

> "Gone with the Wind? I wasn't expecting seeing someone as young as you watching something like that."

Therese looked up from her phone to an unbelievably beautiful, practically perfect, tall, blonde woman. Her hair was up in a bun, she was wearing running shorts, a loose t-shirt that showed her perfectly sculpted collar bones, and.... were those tights? 

> "I didn't mean that to sound rude. I just didn't expect that to be your movie choice."

Therese realized she hadn't said anything yet to the vision that was standing in front of her.

> "Oh... yah. It's one of my favorites... and it was five dollars."
> 
> "Well it's a good choice."

Therese looked in the grocery basket she was carrying. Inside, she had three of the same Barbie doll's the only difference between them was their hair color.

> "My daughter has been with her father all week. I wanted to get her something to surprise her when he drops her off but I couldn't decide which one she would like more... or even if she would like Barbie's at all. She's so difficult to shop for. She loves The Little Mermaid so I thought maybe the red-haired Barbie Doll, but then again she has brown hair so I thought maybe the Brunette, but then I thought maybe she might like the Blonde..."
> 
> "Did they not have a "Little Mermaid" Barbie?"
> 
> "No... I wish... that would have made things much easier... which one would you have chosen if you were four?"

Therese as a child never had Barbie Doll's. Not only was she not interested in them, but her family could not afford them and by the time she was in foster care, she had grown out of Barbie's. 

> "I didn't really like Barbie's."
> 
> "Really? What toy would you have wanted?"

Therese pondered. At four years old, Therese remembered she really wanted Lego's for Christmas but again, her family couldn't afford them.

> "Honestly, I just remember I liked building things at her age, which I guess isn't very girly though."

The beautiful woman's face lit up.

> "That's a perfect idea! That's what I'll get her. I hate to bother you anymore but, would you mind coming over to the toy section with me? I really could use your help on what Lego set I should get her or I will end up buying them all."

Therese would do anything for this woman just to spend more time with her. She was enchanting, her voice was melodic, her body was literally perfect, she didn't have a single flaw on her face, if Therese didn't know better she would have thought she had seen an angel. Therese, of course, agreed to go with the beautiful blonde creature to the toy section. They looked through every lego set and finally decided on set that was a bit larger than your usual legos, but perfect for little four-year-old hands. They walked together to the check-out line.

> "Thank you so much for your help you've been a star. I hope I didn't keep you from something important. How rude of me, I don't even know your name."
> 
> "Oh, it's not important. I'm Therese."
> 
> "Therese? Not Theresa?"
> 
> "Yep. Just Therese."
> 
> "And your last name?"
> 
> "Belivet."
> 
> "Therese Belivet. That's beautiful."

Therese tried to hide her blushing face. The way she said her name gave her goosebumps. 

> "And yours?"
> 
> "Carol Aird."

Therese determined Carol had to have been the most beautiful name she will ever hear. They stood in line silently together. Therese tried to come up with something to say to make this moment last longer. Her thoughts were interrupted by Carol's melodic voice. 

> "What are you doing tomorrow night?"
> 
> "Um, I'm not sure, probably watch Gone with the Wind."

Carol laughed.

> "Well to thank you, would you like to come to the Ballet? I have great seats."

Even if Therese had plans, she would cancel them to go anywhere with Carol.

> "You don't have to do that." 
> 
> "Oh, it's no trouble at all. I would love to have Ms. Therese Belivet as my guest."

Therese tried to hide her blushing again.

> "In that case, I would love to go to the Ballet," smiled Therese.

Therese noticed a small smirk come across Carol's face. 

> "Well, that's that. Can I have your number so I can text you the details? I would tell you now but I am getting dangerously close to being late to see my daughter."

Therese and Carol exchanged numbers and bought their items. As they were leaving the front door of Target, Carol smiled.

> "See you tomorrow night, darling."
> 
> "Goodbye, Carol."

Therese watched as Carol walked down the street towards the Lincoln Center. After a moment, she realized she was still staring at the woman and, to not be a total creep, she walked the other way back to her apartment. As she continued her walk home she got another text from Dannie.

> 
>     "So are you coming to Allen's or what?"  
>     > 
>     "Sorry, I have plans."

And for once, her response wasn't a total lie... even if the plans were tomorrow.


	2. Chapter 2

> "So you're going to the ballet with a random woman from Target?"

Dannie was sitting on Therese's bed as she put on her makeup for her night at the Ballet. She still had yet to choose a dress for the evening and was particularly nervous to go to something so fancy, nevertheless with Carol. 

> "You make it sound so weird. I helped her pick out a toy for her daughter. She's thanking me," Therese said as she coated her eyelashes with mascara.
> 
> "Well it is... I mean it's not every day some stranger invites you to go to something like this... especially after doing something so trivial as pick out a toy. You gotta admit it is a little weird."
> 
> "Would you please just help me pick out a dress for the evening and stop questioning everything?" Therese said, annoyed.

Dannie stopped his questions (for now) and looked through Therese's closet. Although Dannie did pester Therese (a lot) he was her best friend, her neighbor, and practically her brother so she understood his concern. He was looking out for her and always wanted the best for her and that she was thankful for. Therese met Dannie when she first moved to New York after she had aged out of foster care. He was her first true friend, her first true family, so although he annoyed the hell out of her, she loved him.

Dannie found a slimming black dress that hugged Therese in all the right places.

> "Oh my God Terry, you're like Cher in _Moonstruck_... except I'm sure this lady is much more attractive than Nicholas Cage."
> 
> Therese laughed. "They aren't even on the same playing field. I don't even know if Carol is real. She has no flaws."
> 
> "Someone has a crush," Dannie said with a smirk.

Therese rolled her eyes and decided what shoes she would wear. She looked in the mirror to see how she looked. Therese did not have the highest self-esteem. She didn't think she was ugly, far from that actually, but she also did not think she was particularly beautiful. But tonight, she felt pretty which helped calm her nerves a little bit.

* * *

Although Dannie was apprehensive about the entire situation, he offered to drop Therese off at the Lincoln Center. 

"Make good choices! Call me if she's crazy," Dannie said as Therese shut the door to his car. She waved him off as she walked toward the grand doors of the theater. Therese checked her phone to reread the text from Carol about the details of where she's supposed to go.

> 
>     "Go to the box office, it's on the right.  Tell them your name and they will help you from there.  See you tonight :) - Carol"

Therese entered the front doors and immediately felt out of place, everything was practically plated in gold, the ceiling had murals, there was even a fountain in the middle of the lobby. Therese looked to the right and found the box office. She walked up to the man in the booth, her stomach felt like it was going to flip over itself... somehow being in this space made her even more nervous than she was already. The man in the ticket booth smiled.

> "Ticket for one?"
> 
> "Um... no. My name is Therese Belivet."

The man's eyes got wide. Shocked even. "Why does he look so shocked? Do I really look that out of place?", Therese thought.

> "Oh yes, Ms. Belivet. Ms. Aird is expecting you tonight. Hold on one moment."

The man picked up the phone and dialed.

> "Hi, yes Ms. Belivet is here. Thank you."

The man smiled again, except this time his smile seemed nervous. Why is he nervous?

> "There will be someone here momentarily to escort you to your seat."
> 
> "Um... thank you," Therese said, confused.

Shortly after he said this, a young man, couldn't have been more than 19, walked down the stairs beside the box office wearing what looked like the monkey costumes from _The Wizard of Oz_ or maybe even a 1950's doorman... Therese couldn't decide. He also looked incredibly nervous. Why is everyone so nervous?!

> "Um hi, Ms. Belivet? Right this way."

The young man walked Therese up the stairs and through a door to a balcony with just two seats. " _These really are great seats_ ," Therese thought to herself. There was a perfect view of the stage and it was just close enough Therese was sure she would be able to see even the facial expressions of the dancers... but where was Carol? Therese thanked the young man who looked relieved once she thanked him. The show was to start in 10 minutes. Carol did not seem like a person who would be late. Therese contemplated texting her to see where she was but thought that might be too forward. She looked at her program, "Light of the Moon: The Best of Claude Debussy". Therese's nerves were eased slightly. At least she knew who Debussy was. Therese had played piano since she was a child and the first song she truly learned how to play was Claire De Lune, written by Debussy. At least that was something maybe she could talk about with Carol.

The lights began to dim. Therese was worried. Carol still was not there yet. Maybe something happened? Did Carol stand her up? How could she though as Carol bought these amazing seats, right? 

As the theater became completely dark the orchestra began to play. Therese immediately recognized the first song as Claire De Lune. As the first few notes were played, the stage lit up, and the curtain rose.

On the stage stood a blonde ballerina. Her hair neatly in a bun, she wore a white leotard with a matching white skirt that was sheer enough to show her long legs. The leotard had a large cut out in the back that showed off all of her back muscles. It wasn't a tutu like Therese expected to see. The woman from the back was beautiful... familiar even. As Claire De Lune continued, the ballerina went en pointe and turned around.

Therese audibly gasped. Her heart fluttered. She might have even forgotten how to breathe. 

It was Carol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those wondering which Claire de Lune I had in mind: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WlyZAQXiR1o
> 
> Also if you haven't seen Moonstruck I suggest you do so. It's one of my favorites. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry, it was a bit short. Thank you all for the nice comments :) Did you expect that Carol was going to be a dancer?


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the ballet was a blur. All Therese saw on stage was Carol. The only time Therese ever felt anything other than pure adoration for the woman she barely knew, was when the men in her dances would lift her in the air. It was jealousy. Jealous that those men got to touch her. 

After the last performance, a woman, probably about Carol's age, dressed in all black and with a short straight bob haircut asked "Are you Therese?" Therese awoke from her trance.

> "Um... yes I am."
> 
> "Follow me."

Therese picked up her purse and began to follow the woman behind a set of doors until she realized she was backstage.

> "My name is Abby Gerhard. I'm the stage manager. Carol wanted me to make sure I found you before you left so I could bring you back to her dressing room."

Therese gulped. All of a sudden her palms got sweaty. She felt faint. How could she even form sentences after she saw Carol perform? Abby seemed to notice her nervousness.

> "If it makes you feel any better, she's nervous too. She normally doesn't get nervous for performances... but today she was."
> 
> "Why is she nervous?"
> 
> Abby laughed. "Well, why are you nervous? I bet it's probably the exact same reason she is." Abby turned around and winked at Therese.

Therese was lead through a series of doors until she got to the dressing rooms. The first one on the right had a huge star with "Carol Aird" engraved on the bottom. Abby opened the door. Therese saw in the corner was a little girl playing with the legos Therese had helped Carol pick out at Target. She turned around and smiled. 

> "Rindy this is Therese. She helped your momma pick out your new toy."

Rindy immediately got up from her seat on the floor and ran to Therese hugging her legs so tight Therese almost fell over.

> "THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!" She squealed. "This is the best toy I've ever gotten."

Therese noticed immediately how much she looked like Carol, especially around the eyes. 

> "I'm glad you like it. I always loved building things when I was your age."
> 
> "You want to see what I'm building?!"

Rindy took Therese's hand and led her to her corner of the dressing room. She had stacked the lego blocks in a large square with little arches. 

> "It's a castle!"

Therese couldn't help but be enamored by the little girl. She was just as charming as Carol. 

> "Is that my castle, Rindy?" Abby said in a somewhat teasing tone.
> 
> Rindy stuck out her tongue at Abby. "No, Aunt Abby, it's mommy and my castle."

Therese heard the door open to the dressing room. It was Carol, engulfed in bouquets of flowers. Therese couldn't breathe. She was beautiful on stage but nothing compared to how she looked in person. 

> "MOMMMY!" Rindy yelled. She jumped straight up and ran to Carol, like she did Therese, hugging her legs tightly. 

Carol sat the bouquets of flowers on the dressing room table and picked up her little girl.

> "My sweet girl." Carol kissed her forehead. "Did you meet Therese?" 
> 
> Rindy looked over at Therese and smiled. "Yes and I showed her my castle we are going to live in Mommy. Can she come over and play? Pretty pretty pretty please!!!"
> 
> Carol smiled. "Not tonight, but maybe tomorrow." She winked at Therese.
> 
> "Yay!! Um.. Ther... Thes... res."
> 
> Therese finally found her voice. "You can call me Terry. Therese is a hard name to pronounce." 
> 
> "TERRY! Will you come over and play tomorrow?"
> 
> "Um, well... sure if your mommy is okay with it."

Rindy squealed again. 

> Abby smirked. "Well Therese, looks like you just have a little fan club in here."

Carol flashed a quick angry look at Abby. 

> "Don't you have, I don't know, stage managing duties?"
> 
> Abby laughed. "You're right. I'll leave you _alone_." Abby made sure to emphasize alone.

Abby walked over to the dressing room door, opened it, turned around, winked at Therese, and left.

Carol rolled her eyes. "I'm assuming Abby told you she is the stage manager, she is also my best friend, and a huge pain in my aaa...." Carol seemed to remember Rindy was in her arms. "Um, she's a pain in the butt."

Rindy giggled. Therese giggled too. Carol sat Rindy back on her feet and she ran back over to her toys and continued to build her "castle". Carol and Therese stared at each other in silence before Carol finally said something. 

> "Well did you enjoy the show?" Carol asked nervously. 
> 
> "Yes....", Therese tried to think of something else to say, "I wasn't expecting you to be on the stage though."
> 
> Carol laughed. "Did you think I stood you up?" 
> 
> "Well at first I did. But I figured out pretty quickly where you were. You are incredible."

Carol smiled and Therese could see her blush a little.

> "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Carol sat at her vanity and began to take out the many bobby pins in her hair. Slowly her blonde locks fell to her face. She turned around to face Therese. 

> "Well I have to change into my "normal" clothes but would you like to come with Rindy and I to dinner? We usually go to this diner down the street. It's not fancy or anything but they have good french fries."
> 
> "And milkshakes!" Rindy interrupted. "They even have an oreo one! PLEASE Terry!!! Come with us!"

Therese could not think of a single place she would rather be.

> "I love milkshakes!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I am so sorry it has been so long since I updated. Life has been pretty insane for me to be honest. I work two jobs plus have had a few bumps in the road the past few months but I am hoping to get back into writing this story. Please be patient with me. I appreciate all your lovely comments for the story so far. Thank you for sticking with me. I'm sorry this isn't a "perfect" chapter but I hope it will suffice :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I've had this idea in my head for a WHILE but was too scared to start writing cause I don't think I'm the best writer but I decided just to bite the bullet and do it.
> 
> I hope you enjoy the first chapter :) Thanks so much for reading!


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